My Dirty Scented Bomb

Safety and security, has gone mad – the conclusions of an online petition of 903,000 people. I AGREE! The angriest I have been at an airport was flying to Belgium some months back. I decided I had to take my own precautions looking after my luggage and checked myself in. Well, it being a short break, I had the things one needs; including a lovely razor, Gillette Mac III – don’t laugh - it’s the best a man can get officially. Got to the bag screening and… confiscated!
“This is a potential weapon you could cut the pilots throat.”
Bullshit, this is the Gillette Mac III, it is the smoothest shave you can have. You could hardly cut your own throat with the bloody thing. The worst thing that could happen is that the Pilot could look ten years younger. Then they looked through the rest of the of the items and basically just took me to a bin and emptied my toiletries in front of me because of the crappy 100ml rule, (God, I hate Al Queda). No sharp objects or liquid allowed I'm 90% liquid, what you want me to do, board my teeth!? Yes they looked at my lemon and lime foot scrub and peppermint exfoliater as if it was the ingredients for a dirty bomb. I was going to swallow it like a drugs mule, but I guessed by the time it came out the other end, I think the lavender and musk scented candle would have lost its effect. Never mind. It was nice while it lasted.